Random thoughts,

Random thoughts,

I have to be honest with you all… I am going through mood swings like no other time in my life. It's easy to be mad and angry because she's already moved on. Fate took me into the Peacock room the other night and I got to see the new guy in her life. I sat there had a few drinks and then went home and slept. I can't lie to you and say I didn't feel hurt, betrayed, used… I mean it's not even like she was sad by the loss of me.

The band was playing the next night too… I could have went and caused a big scene. However, I good friend gave me some advice. "A big scene isn't going to get her back." That's the truth of it… Nothing I do now is going to get her back. I need to just move on. I was deeply in love with her and those feeling won't fade easily… but I can't think I'm going to get her back.

Then I started thinking about it… Even if she wanted to come back, even if she asked for me to try to forgive…would I take her back? I loved her more then she ever loved me, that's the truth in this equation. I can't ever take her back as a girlfriend because I will always doubt her love for me. It's a hard pill to swallow, because I cared about her so much.

I hope we can be friends someday because she is a very talented individual.

As for now I have to walk a way so my heart can heal and I can start to forget how much I really loved her. I would have done anything for her; I just can't lie to myself anymore.

Peace.