The life and times of Bohemian rock star
I’ve been typing a letter for the last few days. It’s a letter that at some point I think I want to give to Jen. It’s not harsh or mean. It just says everything I need to say so I can move on. I understand every reason she mentioned when she broke up with me. I have been there. If the partner you are dating or seeing doesn’t think it will go any further, the relationship hits an impasse. You either have to decide to take the relationship to a new level or let the relationship be free for the best of both parties involved. She wasn’t ready for the next level, and that’s ok.
I often told Jen I see her going places. She has so many dreams and I know she can succeed in all of them. We were compatible in a lot of ways. We hated seeing people who had potential not using it. We both have dreams to follow.
Last night after work I was feeling pretty down. I live in a two bedroom apartment and it’s quite lonely now. I have been on a big cleaning binge and decided to head down to Office Depot to buy an external hard drive. As I was there I saw Angela and talked to her for awhile. It just feels good to talk. I then went home and started moving files. I call Jill (Jen’s Sister) later that evening and broke down. I really just needed to get everything out. She invited me over to her place to have dinner with her, Angela and George. Truth be told I think it was the first full meal I have had since the break up. It felt good to be able to just talk and be around people who just listened. I don’t want people to tell me I am better off. I don’t want people to say Jen’s stupid to let me go. I just needed someone to listen.
I don’t wish Jen any ill-will. How could I? I was very happy and still am happy for the times we had. I’ll never regret spending the last year and a half of my life enjoying her company. Walks, Sunday Coffee, barbequing… these will be moments that continue to bring a smile to my face.
I think we will remain friends, it will probably take some time to get to that point, but I don’t any reason why not to be. On my MySpace account I have a bunch of friends that I have once dated or had a relationship with. I told Jen once there has only been one person I haven’t be able to remain friends with, and surprising enough I feel that changed this weekend. We all have our issues and I probably broke their hearts at the time, but we grow, we change, and we become better people.
Sorry for the grammar mistakes and awkward sentences. Right now I am just getting my thoughts on paper. I’ll clean it up when I put everything in the book. I’ve been toying with the thought for awhile. Imagine if you met a person and wanted them to know everything about you. Now imagine all of that was in a book. My demons will be shown to the world someday. The book would be on my terms. Here’s an excerpt from the previous relationship before Jen F.:
“As I drove down to Portland I continue to have a hate building inside me. I started to hate the relationship I was in, Portland was going to be an escape from the relationship and all thoughts that were growing in my mind. Portland was going to be something refreshing. Portland was a mess. “
Everyone has a story and I like listening to them. Now I will finally have a chance to tell mine.
Peace
Ryan
I often told Jen I see her going places. She has so many dreams and I know she can succeed in all of them. We were compatible in a lot of ways. We hated seeing people who had potential not using it. We both have dreams to follow.
Last night after work I was feeling pretty down. I live in a two bedroom apartment and it’s quite lonely now. I have been on a big cleaning binge and decided to head down to Office Depot to buy an external hard drive. As I was there I saw Angela and talked to her for awhile. It just feels good to talk. I then went home and started moving files. I call Jill (Jen’s Sister) later that evening and broke down. I really just needed to get everything out. She invited me over to her place to have dinner with her, Angela and George. Truth be told I think it was the first full meal I have had since the break up. It felt good to be able to just talk and be around people who just listened. I don’t want people to tell me I am better off. I don’t want people to say Jen’s stupid to let me go. I just needed someone to listen.
I don’t wish Jen any ill-will. How could I? I was very happy and still am happy for the times we had. I’ll never regret spending the last year and a half of my life enjoying her company. Walks, Sunday Coffee, barbequing… these will be moments that continue to bring a smile to my face.
I think we will remain friends, it will probably take some time to get to that point, but I don’t any reason why not to be. On my MySpace account I have a bunch of friends that I have once dated or had a relationship with. I told Jen once there has only been one person I haven’t be able to remain friends with, and surprising enough I feel that changed this weekend. We all have our issues and I probably broke their hearts at the time, but we grow, we change, and we become better people.
Sorry for the grammar mistakes and awkward sentences. Right now I am just getting my thoughts on paper. I’ll clean it up when I put everything in the book. I’ve been toying with the thought for awhile. Imagine if you met a person and wanted them to know everything about you. Now imagine all of that was in a book. My demons will be shown to the world someday. The book would be on my terms. Here’s an excerpt from the previous relationship before Jen F.:
“As I drove down to Portland I continue to have a hate building inside me. I started to hate the relationship I was in, Portland was going to be an escape from the relationship and all thoughts that were growing in my mind. Portland was going to be something refreshing. Portland was a mess. “
Everyone has a story and I like listening to them. Now I will finally have a chance to tell mine.
Peace
Ryan
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